I must have discovered time travel, because I am always living in the future. I could say it’s because I’m a mom … that somehow when I gave birth to my first child, I was given this unique gift to transcend time, but I fear I have always been this way. See, I don’t see this as a “gift” but rather sometimes a curse. Constantly living in the future – worrying about what’s next and making contingency plans to provide some sort of comfort to the questions around “what-ifs” and “what could go wrongs”.
I’ve been time traveling more often these days – and just like any travel, it can be exhausting. Like one of those vacations that you actually need a vacation from. (I’m lookin’ at you, Disney World.) See, we all have physical activities that fill our days. Some of mine, for example, include: commuting in the freezing cold, working really hard to have hair that always looks horrible, acting as a functional member of society doing corporate-things for ~10 hours out of the day, and then cooking dinner that my 2 year old will point to for 12 minutes while repeating the word “yucky”). Most of us also have mental activities that fill our days. And recently, mine have included making more of these plans … plans that are related around everything from buying a home and affording college to wondering if I will ever be that confident mom who knows if she has properly cleaned the mold out of all of the bath toys. (I should cross this one off. I will never be that mom.)
Recently, I was sharing my time traveling adventures with my husband, Chris. For those of you who know him – you know that he’s one of the funniest, kindest souls out there. He works hard for our family and would do anything for his children. He is not a time traveler like me. (Unless it would bring him to KFC in less than two minutes … then he might try it). Chris is someone who, for the most part, lives in the moment. So I was challenging him a bit – telling him of all of the ideas that I had to prepare us for the future – sharing my concerns around how we had to think about all of the questions that we might face and come up with the answers now. That if we wanted that (insert something materialistic here), then we needed to do X, Y and Z now. After I was done with my speech, he looked at me and calmly said, “we have all we need”. When he said those five little words, I sat back for a minute and was quiet. (Note: for those who know me, know this is a rare moment). I then said a phrase that any wife could argue should never be said out loud. “You are right”. And I meant it.
I’m not saying I’m going to stop time traveling all together – it’s a part of who I am. What I am saying is that I’m going to try and focus on what we have and remember that it truly is all that we need. In other words: focus on our two tiny humans, be thankful for the roof over our head and food on the table … and give up a few of those contingency plans. Except for the bath toys. I need to get that one figured out.